Posted in Marriage & Family

Learning to Chill and Grandparent

I am on holidays, trying to relax and regroup. Of course, my writer’s mind never stops and that can be a problem. In the meantime, life goes on around me.

IMG_3326It is a good thing we decided to stay home for our holidays this summer, because this week our second grandchild was born, two and a half weeks early.

In our family we have only boys, and the same is true for my husband’s family, so the arrival of a baby girl is very exciting!

Our daughter-in-law had a water birth, a home delivery, and she “caught” her own baby. Wow! I wasn’t there and I’m trying to imagine what that must be like.

On the home front, I am still attempting to edit my novel, and have started another writing project. I edited the first three chapters of a friend’s work this week. Yes, I forgot I’m on holidays.

What I really should be doing is spending some time reading a few good books. When I have leisure time I read books and articles on writing, marriage, parenting, counselling, leadership–you get the idea. A very well known author told our coaching class at a writer’s conference that reading is part of the job description of a writer and we should never allow anyone to make us feel guilty for reading. But for me, making time to read a novel is a still a great luxury. I think I should follow the example of a friend of mine and read thirty novels this summer. That might break this crazy pattern.

I’ve been thinking lately that I need to learn how to chill. I am definitely a “driven” person, even when I choose a more relaxed lifestyle. Yesterday I was talking to my husband about this and we tried to think of how this started. It may have been a job I took after high school, working for a woman who was extremely driven. I had the opportunity to compare two management styles when I worked for two consecutive owners of a restaurant. The first was laid back and the staff felt like family. When it was busy we worked hard and when it was slow we chatted. The second owner sent us home when it was slow or arranged for us to work split shifts. She found busy work for us to do if she caught us standing around. Every minute had to be gainfully employed.

I think when I still had children at home I was more relaxed. Mothering was a joy for me. My children gave back so much in enjoyment in my life. I look at some mothers who think their children are a “pain” and wonder how I was so blessed.

It’s strange that while I enjoyed my own children so much, I feel kind of like a duck out of water with this grandparenting bit. I never was a very good babysitter and being a grandparent reminds me of babysitting. I always thought that to be a good babysitter you had to be an entertainer, which I am not. But maybe I can learn.¬†This can’t be rocket science.

My first lesson is to figure out how to relax, chill.